This is a different type of post in that what you are about to read is a personal letter of self-reflection which was written by guest writer, Karlyn Kay Stebbins. I want to personally thank her for allowing “Morsels of Bread” to share this letter with our audience. It is hoped that this letter will help someone who may be going through a struggle in life at this time to never give up, or give in, but to keep pressing forward. There is light at the end of a seemingly long and dark tunnel.
Karlyn’s Introduction to the Letter You are About to Read:
I had a tumultuous childhood. My very first memory is being three years old and my father molesting me. It got increasingly worse as the years went by. By the age of six, my father put me into a child pornography network, and by the time I was fourteen years old, he sold me to a pimp. I continued in that lifestyle until seven years ago when I ended up in jail weighing only eighty-seven pounds. Throughout the entire ordeal, I have been close to death’s door many times. I knew that if I didn’t turn my life around I would finally end up dead. In the last seven years, I have gotten an education and graduated with a double major and minor. I was also baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of the latter-day Saints on 26 March 2011. My life is slowly is coming together in God’s time.
Karlyn’s Letter Exactly as She Wrote It:
I know that you hate yourself for what you were forced to do and who and what you became as a result of the drug and prostitution world . You were scandalous and you put up with a lot in your childhood and adulthood. You put up with rape and being stabbed and left for dead and you also witnessed other many murders in your life and felt guilty about it and you suffer from survivors guilt and you carry it around with you to the point of attempting suicide 32 times and pronounced dead on arrival once. You bounced back and came back when you had a choice of dying or coming back. God has given you the same Choice twice and you came back because you know that you have a great and mighty purpose in this life. You have seen Jesus Christ Himself and you have seen Satan yourself so therefore you have seen two spectrum of the coin that’s more then what anybody sees. Instead of looking at your losses focus in on what your purpose is and go find it because it is not feeling like a victim and scared get out of your house and quit imprisoning yourself with other people’s guilt and shame and remorse because it’s not yours to carry! Set yourself free to be just you because you are a very special daughter of a loving God. Keep working hard on yourself and it will surely pay off. Furthermore quit hating yourself and Give yourself a pat on the back for what you have gone through and survived and be proud of who and what you really are and quit trying to please people to feel ok. All of them days are over now and has been for quite awhile so stop tripping yourself up with others nonsense and quit internalizing your predators ideas and the brainwashing that they fed you. You are so much better than that. Free yourself from self hatred and free yourself from others ideas. It doesn’t matter! Stop and give you a fair chance and you is what matters it’s not what others thinks. This is about Karlyn Kay Stebbins and not about what others has told you or done to you but it’s what you can do for yourself and stop hating yourself because your growth and development is slower so what! No one has gone through what you have had to so what about them and comparing yourself to other people and their situation because you are you and your situation is unique like you are so get over feeling like you are less then in fact you are a hero because you survived and beat the odds and still are beating the odds! From today I give myself permission to start loving myself and giving myself a much needed break from others and their ideas and etc,but to go on and keep developing myself and to start taking care of myself and start taking actions to start liking myself because I am a likeable person. The reason why you don’t like yourself is because you feel like you don’t belong but you do so start belonging and liking yourself for you will not regret it.
Karlyn Kay Stebbins
Karlyn Kay Stebbins’ Biography:
Karlyn Kay Stebbins is a guest writer for Morsels Of Bread. She is an addictions counselor and works in a drug rehabilitation center. She has a double major in Sociology and Psychology, and a minor in Communications. She is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, having been baptized on 26 March 2011. Her hobbies are reading and writing. She also enjoys spending time with her son and his friends. She is also the Founder of The Conqueror Foundation and has a blog called “Reflection Pays” where she shares her insights.